We have all been there at one point or another. Whether it be work, relationships or unhealthy habits. But when they are so toxic that they are bringing you down, changing who you are as a person and how you feel about the world. We cannot live our lives doing things that make us unhappy, we cannot change our souls for others. And it took me a very long time to realize that I need to live my life the way I am designed to. I was not living as my best self, and that's not okay. I've always known that I wanted to quit my job, it wasn't a good place for me. But when I started getting sexually harassed, manipulated and bullied I knew I needed to make my exit.
A guy at work was harassing me for months, I told me manager multiple times. She would reply with "oh gross" or "what a jerk". I'm sorry but how is that helpful? I told her about a half dozen incidences where I was looking for some guidance and help. But without doubt she would not help. She called herself a friend, even used the words "Best friends". She was not a friend, she made me hurt and in more pain then I needed to be in. I needed her to step up as a friend and a manager and help me when I needed it, instead of making jokes and brushing it under the rug.
I got the courage to tell my GM and he told me "is it a guy being a guy", "there's not much I can do" "this can't affect other peoples job duties" He did a few things to help me out, with other employee's for a few weeks after me complaining.
A few months go by and the un-welcomed comments didn't stop. They seemed to get worse. to to the point where I would look in stalls before I used the rest room before I go. He was everywhere I turned, outside when I was eating lunch in my car. (only place I felt remotely safe during work). Every day would leave me in tears and panic attacks. I was terrified to go into work every single day. No one was helping, and I couldn't afford to not have a job. I mean my bills needed to be paid right? I could suck it up and I could get through it.
But as time went on. he began to ask me to do things to him. More like telling me to do things to him. I ran. I ran as fast as I could and I got out of there. I knew it was time to get a lawyer. I met with a lawyer and I told him everything.
A few weeks go by and somehow my new general manager found out I got a lawyer. That was a fun meeting. I know I did nothing wrong. But it was just a few awkward situation.
On that day, I knew that in a few short weeks I would not be returning after my vacation. I knew whether I got a new job or not I wouldn't be able to drag myself back into this exhausting place. My new GM got a hold of HR and they decided to suspend the guy. They asked me my story and I told them everything.
Two days go by, and HR calls me. They told me that there is no way they can prove what I'm saying because I have no witnesses. So they have to bring him back to work. OH MY GOSH! They are bringing him back? I almost didn't show up back to work, but I held my head high and I showed up. And boy was this guy mad. He began slamming down things on my desk as he walked by, mumbling under his breath while walking by me, Stomping his feet. Everyone was staring at me, it felt like everyone knew! No matter where I hid, I never felt safe.
My manager was so mad that I hadn't told her the most recent comments. But why would I? Because she was so helpful last time? I told her I felt uncomfortable talking about it, and I didn't want to talk to her about it.
A week before my vacation, I emailed someone I had an interview with a few months ago but the position wasn't full time so I wasn't able to take it. I emailed her to see if there was any positions she had available. And guess what! She did. She sent me a great job, which was so much closer to home, and a better position in general. I met with her on a Tuesday and by the end of the meeting, I walked out with a job. I accepted and as soon as I got into my car I cried. I was so happy. I called everyone in my family.
I had a way out! I had it and I was going to take it! Something so joyful and light came over me and instantly felt like a new person. I'm finally winning!
Last week I got back from my vacation, (I felt so happy and stress-free on my vacation), and I sent an email to my GM, his boss and my manager and I told them that I couldn't work for a place that wouldn't put my safety first, and I couldn't ever feel safe there. And they never emailed me back.
But you know what?! I'm so free! I'm more free then I've ever felt in my 4 years of working there. I started my new job, with no fear to walk through the door. No fear of being alone at work. I get to live my life as the way it's been intended to live.
So I encourage you, if you are in a situation that is compromising who you are then get a game plan and get it done as soon as possible. Things will work out how they are supposed to work out, and you will see the rainbow at the end of the storm. I'm living proof that following your heart and making hard decisions is worth it. You need to live as your best self, and don't let anything hold you back from your highest abilities.
Leave those toxic situations behind and start fresh because you will never feel better!
Please email me, or comment if you don't know what to do but you know something needs to be done. I would love to help, I would love to get you through whatever you're going though because you're worth it. Your happiness and peace of mind is and always will be worth it. I'm hear for you, and I know it's over whelming but we will get you through this hump. I'm here for not only girls who are having a hard time with some unwanted comments from creeps or not knowing when a friendship is too toxic, I'm here for anyone at any time.
Everyday is a new day for opportunity for change and for a happier you. You are able to start everyday with a fresh head leaving all of your woes and stresses behind in the day before. But every birthday you get to re-evaluate your life and see if you're on the right path for what you want in life. And this year I am so so ready for a new chapter and what better time then turning 26! Weird to say, because it feels just like yesterday that I was turning 16 and learning to drive with my mom screaming in the passenger seat. I've has so much fun growing up and becoming the woman and adult I am today. I can't wait to see where this next year takes me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I have come up with a list of 26 things that I want to do or accomplish in my next 365 days.
1. Quit my job, I want to quit my job and be free of the stresses it comes with. And not driving 75 minutes each way wouldn't be horrible either.
2. Have a baby, Now I put this one on my list every year. And last year it just wasn't right but I think with my new found self 26 might be the year I grow my family.
3. Blog Full Time, It's been my dream for a long time for to be a full time blogger and share my hope, love and ideas with the world of my readers. By becoming a a full time blogger, it'll give me the opportunity to quit my job and provide for my future kiddos.
4. Travel to new places, I love to travel and to see places that I haven't gotten the change to see before. I have a road trip planned in May visiting, Zion, Arches, Bryce Canyon and The Grand Canyon. But I want to see more places! If you can think of any places in Canada, Oregon, Washington or Idaho I can skip away to for a weekend get-a-way please let me know!
5. Love myself, This one seems so silly. But this last year I've put myself through the wringer and didn't leave much room for self love. I want to love my body, and my inner self. I want to be able to wake up, and not second guess myself every time I try to do something that would otherwise make me happy.
6. Write two books, I'm currently writing my first E-book for you all to read, and I'm planning on being done within a month or two! So as soon as I launch that I will start working on book number two! I can't wait to launch my books and see how you guys respond to them!
7. Start a new gratitude journal, Some days it's hard and we forget everything we have in our lives that's going well and thriving. We are so much more then just one bad day or even a bad week. There are so many things to be happy and grateful for, family, health, a roof over your head. So having a daily reminder that you are okay even if you don't think you are.
8. Begin saving for a new house, I'm not ready to move yet but soon we will out grow this little home we've created. I bought this house a month after I turned 23, and we have lived here 3 months this March. And I love this house. But since we were able to save so much before moving here, I would love to continue that trend and take that to the next house we purchase. That way we can financially be ready when we do decide it's time to buy!
9. Ski Lessons. I first stared to Ski when I was 23. And it was so much more fun than I had expected it would me. I've only been twice since I had my first lesson and I'm still very timid on the slopes and I would love to be able to be a little more confident and go skiing with Tyler through-out the winter. Which sometimes in the Pacific Northwest can last for 6 months!
10. Start a craft/ flipping/ salvage business, I love wood working, crafting and turning things into something new. It's such a relaxing outlet for me and I would love to be able to share that with my local neighbors and an online community. I'm not sure exactly when I'll start this but I'm excited beyond words for it.
11. Go camping 6 times, Every year, we always say how often we plan on going camping and every single year life gets crazy during the summer and we only go 1-3 times. Being the outdoor lovers that we are, we really like to disconnect from the stresses and bustles of life to breathe in fresh air, fish and make s'mores. I hope to start camping earlier hopefully in the spring and go into early fall.
12. Go on a side by side, This is something we've both wanted to do for a while, and wanting to purchase out own. Side by sides are something we can take, camping, off roading, through the snow, and just cruising around the campsite. We are hoping we can go on a tour in Bryce Canyon!
13. Hike once a month, This is also something I've said I wanted to do year after year, and I just get too busy, (lazy). And just don't make time, this year I went hiking 3 times. I want to enjoy my backyard, challenge my body and breathe in the fresh air.
14. Go on a cruise. I've only been one cruise in my life but I absolutely loved it. It was so fun. We saw dolphins, otters, played bingo, saw shows and had great food! I would love to go on another cruise this year even if it was just a weekend cruise! If you haven't been on a cruise yet I definitely recommend it. For couples, singles and families big or small this is a great way to spend vacation.
15. Lavender Festival, Do you love lavender too? I am obsessed with it, it smells so great and helps with headaches and anxiety. There is a Lavender Festival up north in Washington State and I've been dying to go since I found out 3 years ago. But it's only for one weekend and I always realize too late. But not this year!
16. Learn 12 new meals, This year we got BLUE APRON and just fell in love! Although it's been out of out budget for for the last few months, I loved learning new recipes! There are so many meals that you can make that are quick, easy, and cheap. I want to be able to learn 1 new meal a month, whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner! Have a meal you're wanting to try? Lets share!
17. Get a grown-up wardrobe, I'm nearly 26 and my clothes don't show it! I don't want to wear pant suits or heals everyday but something that's sophisticated enough for someone who nearing the end of her twenties. The reason I haven't gotten an adult wardrobe is because I haven't loved my body in a very long time but that is also changing this year.
18. Learn to make kombucha, Just a few months ago I fell in love with Kombucha. Have you had it? It's so healthy and delicious too! From what I've read online it's not to hard to make! I would love to make my own, and be able to gift it to my friends and family. They even have kombucha cocktails!
19. Wild Life Park, there are a few here in Washington that looks so fun! Big parks where wild animals walk around a natural habitat. You get to feed them an drive around in your car! They aren't caged up and really seem to enjoy it! If you know otherwise please let me know!
20. Braces, so silly but my smile has always been a insecurity of mine. I had braces as a teenager because my smile was all crazy but I didn't receive a retainer so my teeth shifted! I'm hoping to get Invisilign to help my inner confidence. But I know that it won't change who I am and I'll still be loved no matter if I get the braces or not.
21. Pay off student loans, Loans are so soul sucking! Pay, pay, pay and they never seem so disappear. How does that work? Wouldn't we all love for one less bill? Well I'm determined to end the vicious cycle. I have 4 separate loans with Navient student loans and I will pay one off at a time through-out the year so that it's a little less over whelming.
22. Start or join a book club, I love to read! But sometimes I need more accountability in order to make time to actually read the books I love. While a lot of my friends do enjoy reading the same books as me, we are never reading them at the same time. I would love to join or even start something where we can all take time for something that we love and talk about it with people who enjoy as much as we do!
23. Volunteer more, I am blessed beyond belief and I have more then I'll ever need. And not everyone has the benefit of having a roof, a car or a food in their bellies. There is always a way to help out in your community and we never do enough!
24. Look into fostering kids, I have always wanted the opportunity to improve a child's life. There are so many kiddo's that need help, whether it be for a month or a year. There are so many kids out there that don't always get a warm bed and a hug that the end of the day. I hope one day I'm lucky enough to be a foster mom.
25. Go to North Carloina, Tyler's dad moved to North Carolina almost 2 years ago and we have yet to visit. It's just so far and expensive. They might not be there too much longer and we would have missed the chance to see how they've lived in North Carolina, and lets face it there will never be a reason for me to go to there if they leave. As beautiful it is, I just don't think it'll be on my must see list.
26. Run in a marathon or a fun run! There are so many different kinds that look so fun, and they usually have a charity involved! I'm not a runner at all but I would love to be able to at least check it off my list. A glow in the dark run, a color run, running around lakes, beast cancer runs. I will pick something that's close to my heart and push myself into something I've never been able to do.
These are the 26 things I hope to accomplish this year, and I'll do my my best to get through each goal. But it's absolutely okay if I can't complete all 26! That makes for a very full, yet fun year. Getting older means I have more goals each year. I'm growing, we're growing and not every goal we make needs to be so huge but it needs to be something that will make us happy and that we've always wanted to do. This is me in my 26th chapter and this is how I want to spend it. I hope I can share my chapter with you, and learn about you next chapter too!
I love reading and I'm actually in the process of writing my own book for you all to read. But I want to tell you about a really inspiring book that I read last year! The book was called, Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. I never really knew who she was, I knew she was a writer of some powerful television shows, some of which I had never seen. But I knew that I liked Grey's Anatomy and that her other productions looked very interesting. I don't really remember what made me buy this book, but as soon as I got it I could not put it down. I read it cover to cover in just a few days, I loved it. And I've since read it 2 more times, I just can't get enough.
Let me tell you a little bit about what this incredible book, it's a little bit of an auto-biography and explains how hard Shonda worked her whole life, worked though hardships and being a single mother of three. Who realizes she's been saying no and not truly living to the best of her ability. And I've found myself in the same boat more often than not, lately. I say no, because I'm comfortable with staying home or because I'm feeling lazy after a long week. While it is normal and natural to want to relax you also need to get out in the world and say yes!
Through the book you get to grow with Shonda, starting with her social anxiety, depression and unhealthy lifestyle and watch her bloom into someone who glows with confidence and pure happiness.
You will learn that using your voice is so powerful, don't be afraid to vocally express yourself. Because doing things that you don't want to do just because someone else wants you to do them won't make you happier at all. You need to be able what you want to do as well as what you're obligations are whether it be for work or home. I'm not telling you to tell your boss no, every time they tell you to do something, that would just be silly. But if you have a different way of doing something, or just don't have the time to do that project don't be afraid to speak up and express yourself. Don't let them run you to the ground because you don't think that you can say no. Stand up for yourself in any situation because you may have an opportunity to not only change your life, but potentially help other people in similar position.
You will also learn to love yourself in your own skin, even if you're not in where you want to be in your health journey you still need to love how far you have come and everything your body has done for you. Work everyday towards where you want to to be and try your best not to stress about it. Don't let people bring you down because you don't have the body they they want you to have. Do you know how how silly that is? We get down about how we look because it makes other people uncomfortable, because they don't want to look a the extra weight you have on your belly, or your small chest our your puffy eyes. Who cares? As long as you feel beautiful and you are happy what other people think should not effect how you feel about yourself.
Thirdly, you will learn to grow closer with people you love. Get rid of all those nasty people who don't support you, you don't have your back and don't help you reach your dreams. You will get to see who is truly behind you when you start staying away from the bad energy and toxic relationships that have dragged you down or way too long. Sometimes we forget out worth and that tends to make us be pushed over and walked on because we just don't want the fight. We don't want to stand up for ourselves just to be shut down. We don't deserve that! We deserve love and joy every day of our lives and if we aren't finding it with the current people are are surrounding ourselves with then we need to let go and find some people who we can share this life with. So get together with those people you love and share some memorable experiences together. It will be so much more meaningful to live life with the people whom your heart loves. You all can grow and learn about them as well as have them learn about you.
Lastly, love like you've never has a broken heart. Shonda didn't want to want to fall in love and she certainly never wanted to get married but once she opened up her heart to the idea of loving again she wasn't opposed to the idea of getting married. She didn't keep her walls up and her heart closed. She was open to ideas about love and dating. Even if you've had your heart broken into a million pieces you have to get back on that horse and love again. Because how amazing does love feel? How great does it feel to love and to be loved? Don't deprive yourself of being loved just because you are scared of getting hurt. Love to love!
I love this book and have officially decided that my 26th year is going to be my year of yes. Through my heart, my mind, my joy, family and experiences. I'm going to see and do things I've been to lazy and closed off to do thus far. I'm going to say goodbye to people who don't have my back. I will keep you posted throughout my year of yes. But I encourage you to take the leap of faith, trust yourself to love yourself! This book has taught me so much about myself and gave me hope about how far I can go in this world by just believing I can. You can change your life too by making a few changes and opening your mind, heart and soul to the possibility of a whole new world. Imagine the possibles of the next year and beyond. Do it! You don't need to life this life day by day without seizing the day, it's not fair to you! Say yes! And pick up this book and read it today, read it a million times.
I'm going to read it again this afternoon! I just can't get enough of this book! I loved how well I can relate to someone who is famous and well known, who is way more successful then I could ever hope to be. She has struggles just like you and I, she didn't like her body, and she liked watching TV after work, she had self doubt but she changed it all just by changing the way you think and keeping an open mind about trying new things with new people.
Make a list of some of the people and things you need to close in this chapter and make another list off a few things you want to try and experience in this new chapter. This way you can visually have an idea of some of your next steps.
I can't wait to hear all about your journey, and I hope it include reading this amazing book!
As I'm nearing the end of the twenty-fifth year, I cannot help but to find myself a little sad at what I failed to do. This time last year, I had major plans and I wanted conquer the world and do a 360 with my life. While I have grown this year, and pushed myself beyond belief I'm also certainly not done pushing and growing just because I'm turning 26. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to push even harder then I ever had to make my dreams come true this year! I hope to be a mom, a full time blogger and travel to somewhere new at least twice a year! I hope to finish my book, grow emotionally, and explore more self love. I want to be a better me, as we all do. I don't need shiny and expensive things to make my life full. I need my health, my families heath, laughter, memories and pure happiness. I love the fact that every single day, we get a reset button. Don't like something that happened from the day before? Accept that you can't go back and change it, but that you can learn and grow from it. Do not spend your following days dwelling on what you could have changed or what you wanted to go differently. That will kill you, slowly you will obsess over everything that could have been and think that everything else is just a failure. And let me tell you, you are not failing just because you don't get it as soon as you had hoped for. You're trying and making progress towards your end goal. What is your end goal? Please email or comment and tell me all about it. I want to help you reach your goals. I want to guide you and build you do that you can be all that I know you can be! Where would we be without pushing yourself and our loved ones to grow and become someone new. Do you want to move? Buy a house? Take a month long trip to Thailand? What will change your year? What will help mold you into the person you want your kids and family to see and be proud of? In my twenty-fifth year, I spent a lot of time worrying about what I have yet to do and accomplish, and obsessed with everything that pushed me down when I should have l been focusing on what I can do differently to make my dreams come true. I know, that some days it feels like it would be so much easier to give up and surrender our dreams because some days it feels like you'll never reach the finish line. I want to tell you DO NOT GIVE UP. You will get there and all the late nights and early mornings will be worth it. No matter what your current goal is, you will feel so accomplished when you get there and when you can share the love with your people! One of my goals is to be a full time blogger, and everyday I am working towards being just that. It's been a goal of mine for about 2 years now, and the first year I just talked a lot about it and didn't really know how turn it into something real! I started working on my blog December of 2016, and I've only been able to do it part time. Which stinks, and gets to be very frustrating some days because it truly feels as if I'm not getting anywhere because I don't get to work on it as much as I can. But I will get there, and all I have to do is keep trying everyday and push through the hard days and fight myself to make sure I get to where I want to be. There are so many reasons why I want to be a blogger full time, financial freedom, lifestyle freedom, being able to be a stay at home mom and being able to pay off student loans and potentially my mortgage. There are a bunch of places I want to see and go, people I want to do these things with. But the only thing on my radar right now is to be a blogger, it consumes all my free time and only thing I really want to devote my time to. But tell me about your goal, I would love nothing more then to help you reach your goals no matter how impossible they may seem. It's so important to keep pushing towards your goals, especially when they seem impossible and way too hard. I think more so then! You will feel so much more accomplished knowing that you've worked so hard, and gave it your all.
I definitely love to travel and see new places, meet people and taste new food. Although, I still have so much of the world to see, I have learned a lot in my years of road trips, flight trains and even cruises! Here are some helpful tips for your next trip!
Tip one: Whether or you're flying, driving, boarding a vessel or riding a train make sure you pack snacks and drinks! They are SO expensive on trips and sometimes just not convenient to get. So I ALWAYS pack snacks for the trip, waters, alcohol, tea, coffee and fruit. If you can manage to bring a cooler, do it! You will save a lot of money with this tip!
Tip two: Always bring a first aid kit! You never know if you're going to step on glass or have heart burn when you're on a beach in Mexico. I am ALWAYS the one in the family who has everything you'll need from my first aid kit, ibuprofen, Tylenol, tums, band-aids, gauze, anti-bacterial cream, aloe, sun screen, chap stick, Cortisone, Benedryl, tweezers, thermometer and hydrogen peroxide.
Tip three: Mini pocket router. While most of the time you go on vacation to unplug and turn off distractions sometimes you need the internet or maybe you have a blog and want to stay connected. Bringing a mini router is the best option you have just plug it into a internet jack!
Tip four: PLAN PLAN PLAN, price things out, look into using discounts from your work, AAA or Costco. Make a budget and also set aside an emergency fund for the trip. In 3-4 weeks leading up to the trip, make a list of things you want to do and things you need to bring. When starting this step early, you are less likely to miss items!
Tip five: Stay hydrated, you're going to a new place and your body might be all out of wack. The more you remember to drink water the better you will feel later, less headaches, less fatigue and less hangovers! With that being said, make sure every time you see a bathroom use it, I've been in too many situations when I didn't see another bathroom for hours.
Tip six: Take a picture of your luggage before you leave, it helps makes the process go so much faster then lost or damaged.
Tip seven: Do research on the area you'll be going and make sure you are fully aware about tipping, things that will get you a fine, and ways to behave without offending the culture.
Well there you go, and I'm excited to keep you updated with more specific tips as I get to planning some trips near and far!
I have found an amazing website you guys! And I just had to share! The website is Love Goodly and you absolutely must look it up! I'm a lover of all things happy, organic, natural and Eco-friendly! Let me tell you about this website, they give you a monthly box with Eco-friendly, non-toxic, vegan and made with love! I've never found a monthly subscription that I've liked but this one just speaks to my soul! The boxes are $29.00 a month but you can also just buy products individually as well! They have so many products! Check them out with my link!
All we all want is to be happy, have a fulfilling life and do great things for ourselves. So this year I am taking it upon myself to change my life. I can wish it well all I want, but actions do speak louder then words. So that is what WE are going to do, we are going to toss the negative parts of our lives out the window and start working on happier lives. I know, it seems hard or impossible but it's really not! Here are a few tips to creating a happy 2017!
-Step out of your comfort zone!
We all get stuck in ruts where it seems like we go to work, run errands, sleep and do it all over again. Start a new group, take a trip, learn a new hobby and try some DIY (I'll give you some good ideas soon for all of those)
- Say goodbye to toxic people!
Trust me when I say we all have people who pass through our lives that don't need to be there. These people are so toxic, they try to bring down anyone in their path. That person will drain you emotionally and that's not okay. Get ride of this friend, stay away from this co-worker, leave the job with the mean boss, talk to your family.
- Get out of debt!
How stressful is debt? It's so awful, we don't know how it got so bad so quickly, or maybe we do but there wasn't much at the time we could do about it. Focus on the number and pay the highest interest first and work down from there!
- Take time for yourself
I always forget about me, and I've learned that that's not okay! Let's remember to take 15-20 for yourself every single day! Do something you love, do yoga, go for a walkout side, read, talk to a friend, write! It doesn't matter what it is, but make sure you do it daily!
Buy the shoes, drink the wine, take the trip, kiss the guy!
Do what makes you happy and never settle for anything less than a happy life because it is possible! Keep posted for weekly updates about staying happy!
We all want to save money, we all have something we strive to have. Whether it be because we need a new car to get the kids to school or a vacation to Tahiti, there will always be something worth saving for. A few years ago, my boyfriend and I decided that we were ready to buy a home. We had decided to save for a year and then buy after that. We were living with his parents at the time rent free at the time. It was very important for us to be supported by our family during this year, because it was hard not being able to spend money on going out. Since the only cost we had were, car insurance, car payment, phone and gas. (Oh boy, did I take that for granted). We had each made about $13.00 an hour and worked 40 hours a week. We each made about $1000 a month, and since we didn't need much to live off of we decided to save $850 each a month. We both worked close to home and didn't have to pay for no more then $200 bills each, we were able to save the max amount possible. After the year we were able to save, $21,000 for the house. My recommendation for anyone who is trying to save money is to figure out how long you need/ want to save for, if that is not applicable then figure out how much money you're needing for the new car or the family trip. Once you get that figured out, take a look at your income and expenses to see the amount you and your family are most comfortable putting away each month. Another hack is to have your employer automatically put am exact amount each check into a separate account from which your bills come out from. This worked really well for us and were able to meet our savings goal for the year. I understand that not every adult is able to live with Mom and Dad for a year so just try to cut back on expenses, carpool as much as possible, eat in and get a roommate. Before you know it you'll have a good chunk of money in your savings account!